Getting What You Want

I'm always inspired by this concept: You can do anything if you put your mind to it.  While I understand the motivational intent of the concept, I also believe at some point, if things just don't line up properly, we should move on.  It's not quitting; it's just not beating our heads against the wall anymore.

In this world we are not alone.  Like it or not, other people and their experiences must be factored into our decisions, and they must also be considered when deciding what goals to pursue.  From our baseline energy or enthusiasm in pursing something we want, some other invested party -- a stakeholder -- can either imbue our energy or dilute it.  I agree, wholeheartedly, that our attitude should not be altered by the external forces of the world, but the reality is that our pursuits are.

Having said that, here is the solution.

"When you can't change the direction of the wind - adjust your sails." ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Suppose you seek promotion in the company you currently work for and you are actively pursuing, and accomplishing, the prerequisite job requirements.  For example, you complete your bachelor degree, acquire your PMP certification, gain experience by leading a project team and follow the company policies to the letter in order to receive outstanding performance evaluations.  First of all, great job!  You should be proud.  But say the company doesn't give you the promotion.  You've tried a few times but to no avail.  What's the answer...quit trying and fall into whatever role they want you to be in?  No.

The same is true in interpersonal relationships.  You might do everything you can imagine to form a bond with someone to share the lifetime of love we all desire.  That special someone who knows everything about you -- all your flaws, failures, disappointments, loves and quirks -- and still sees you with complete acceptance, but you just can't "promote" to the next level.  What's the answer...quit trying and remain in a relationship that is less than incredible?  No.

The answer is -- if this is something you truly desire -- adjust your sails to reach it.  This will require change, but change can be good.  Don't focus on what you're losing, that only creates excuses to remain.  Instead, focus on new opportunities to meet your goals.  Find a new job in which you can promote.  Say goodbye to the limiting forces in your life.  Find someone new who can invest as much into you as you do to them.  It's scary and it hurts, but you deserve it.  Acceptance is an essential feeling to experience.  It leads to appreciation which, as mentioned above, imbues the energy and enthusiasm inside us all.

Be brave and get what you want.  You are worth it.