Fear and Courage

Fear is the first enemy of love.

What's the first thought that crossed your mind when you initially read that?  Mine was, "I'm not afraid to love."  Ok, that's a valid thought because I am afraid to put my heart out there for fear it will be broken.  But, my response narrowly focuses on how I project my love onto someone else.  As I've read and re-read this quote I find a deeper meaning.

The word love is thrown around these days haphazardly.  Webster's Dictionary defines love, in part, as: "the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration."  Love is much more than a feeling for someone, it is a feeling for something, too.  What is your love?  Do you harbor some fear in reaching it?  Perhaps fear is a barrier to making our dreams a reality.  The key is to overcome our fear in order to create the life we dream about.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Henry D. Thoreau

What is your dream?  Starting your own business?  Moving to another state or country?  Going back to school?  Changing jobs?  Becoming a professional athlete?  Whatever it is, what's holding you back?  Fear.  Fear of change.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failure.  Fear of the work.  I've faced them all, and I still do.  There is but one trait necessary to turn our dreams into reality -- courage.  The antithesis of fear is courage.  Courage is simply the mental mindset to overcome fear.

Courage is the mindset in the middle of a process.  This process begins with desire.  We must have a desire to follow our dreams.  Only when our desire to make our dreams a reality becomes greater than our fear can we begin to develop the courage to overcome the fear.  As our courage becomes more deeply ingrained in our character, fueled by smart choices and an optimistic demeanor, we develop the confidence to make the decisions necessary to change our lives.  It doesn't matter what stage you're at in life because we all have this fear to some degree.  We all yearn for a love of something.

So, fear is the first enemy of love.  Our love.  Our passion.  Fear is a lock on the gate in the nexus between dreams and reality.  Between here and happiness.  Courage is the key to that lock.  Living life and creating happiness takes courage.  Stand tall amid your critics.  Walk with pride away from the mine field of past decisions.  Hold your head high so you can keep your dreams in sight.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  The past is over and the choices you've previously made are inconsequential to your ability to follow your dreams...as long as your desire exceeds your fear.

Fear may be the first enemy of love, but courage is the first ingredient of happiness.

The Power of Your Words

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. ~ Mother Teresa

This post is about words and how powerful or influential they can be.  I had an incident this morning in which someone, unknown to me, said four words to me to remind me of a past failure.  Those four words could have been anything -- You are a failure. You are absolutely nothing. You will never change. -- but I found that they took control of me for a moment.  I felt snared in a trap.  I felt my own happiness deflate and I let this guy take ownership of a portion of my mind.  I pictured him standing on some of the most precious real estate ramming a flag into it to stake his claim.  My mind is the most precious real estate in my world.

Why did I let him in?  Why did I let him occupy that real estate?  Perhaps when others choose words to cast upon us they touch on our own insecurities.  Do I sometimes have thoughts that I am a failure?  You bet.  So, I felt exposed.  I can't prevent the words that someone says to me, but I can use my own words to keep myself safe and positive.  I can use positive self-talk as mortar to shore up any gaps in the foundation of positivity I'm building...or rather, re-building.

This causes me to try to comprehend the ultimate power of our words; Both the words we cast upon others as well as the words we cast upon ourselves.  The process by which we put words together to express a thought or emotion is wrought with intent.  We don't say something unless we intend to express something.  So, under that premise, we need to go back and address our own intent.  Is it rooted in positivity or negativity?  Words are merely the vehicle we use to penetrate and infiltrate the mind.  Good or bad.

A word is dead when it's been said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day. ~ Emily Dickinson

What can you control?  It all starts with you.  Begin by choosing and using words of empowerment to create the emotion and mindset you want.  Success is dependent on a positive attitude.  Once you paint your world in positivity you'll find that your intent brightens.  Focus more on finding and promulgating the positive things you see.  It is truly powerful to change your mindset.  Cloudy winter days become great days to cuddle and read.  Now, understand that our mindset creates our intent.

Once you fill your mind with positive and empowering words driven with positive intentions, the words we choose to combine and cast upon others become positive.  You cannot sincerely compliment someone if you feel anger or negative.  Conversely, you simply cannot condemn someone if your mind is full of love and happiness.

That man's four words held me captive for a moment.  I know who I am and what I stand for.  I know I have make mistakes in the past.  I also know I have the ability to prevent anyone from staking claim to the precious real estate in my mind because I already own it and I'm creating a beautiful world of my own, filled with love and gratitude.

A Simple Mantra

You're right...it has been a long time since my last post.  I enjoy writing this blog so much because it gives me an opportunity to look for things to share.  In fact, sharing words of happiness is an activity I thoroughly enjoy.  There is little that makes me feel better than to see someone smile.  When we started brainstorming ideas about slogans and t-shirts for the new store I knew I wanted something that was succinct, memorable and positive.  I came up with "Have Fun. Play Hard. Be Happy."

As I thought more and more about that phrase I wanted to put some meaning behind each sentence, or suggestion.  I know it is overly simple as a life mantra...or is it?  Those six words say a lot!  They represent some classic gateway principles to a happy and fulfilled life.

Have Fun.
This supports the idea that you get just one shot at life and it is your responsibility to enjoy it.  No one else can do that for you.  Recently Volkswagen ran an add with the text "It's not the miles, it's how you live them."  Below is the commercial for that ad.  Wonderful!!  That is a witty spin off of a classic quote credited to Abraham Lincoln. "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."  Enjoy this ride because you only get to take it once...Have Fun.

Play Hard.
The undertone here is one of just playing, but that's not the case.  This part of the slogan comes from a couple different sources.  The first is General George Patton who said, "Always do more than is required of you." But I like Og Mandino's approach.  He said, "Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive."  It is your privilege to do more.  Playing hard is saying give it your all.  Make this moment count by putting in the effort and you will excel.  Why?  Minimal effort is equivalent to mediocrity.  Life is a blessing and moments are opportunities, so tackle every single task with a fire of enthusiasm.  This principle is a foundation of leadership, too.  We lead all the time.  We lead by example for our children, our co-workers, our family and anyone, whether we know of them or not, who looks to us as an example.  Give it your all.  Fight mediocrity.  Play Hard.

Be Happy.
The last statement is more than a suggestion; It's a reminder.  Happiness comes from inside you, not the outside forces that surround you.  I will be honest here and tell you that I constantly have to remind myself of this.  I tend to let things bother me.  I become reactive to my environment rather than create my mood.  One of my absolute favorite quotes is by one of the greatest coaches and mentors of all time, John Wooden.  He said, "Things turn out best for those who make the best of how things turn out."  I remind myself of that quote frequently when I need to remind myself that my emotions start inside me.  If I accept and make peace with what comes my way I become the master of my ship.  This last quote is for Bambi, who always seems to have a sincere smile on her face no matter what.  "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ Jimmy Dean.  Make your destination happiness.  This last trait will make the previous two much easier and meaningful.  Be Happy.

I believe so deeply in these ideas that it has become the unofficial mantra of our store.  We have it on our t-shirts, on our front window in large letters, and we include it in every advertisement.  I hope every single person who passes by our windows or sees an ad takes a moment to contemplate the meaning.  I told you I love sharing positive messages.  Enjoy your life, give it everything you've got, and captain your own ship.

Have Fun. Play Hard. Be Happy.

Tips from Hillary Biscay

I'm a fan of positivity.  I believe in the power of the mind and I believe we all have the ability to determine how our days are going to be--good or bad.  With that being said, I also believe it is a continuous process; a journey.  I read a lot of positive books and messages, and it keeps the fire of positivity ignited inside me.

As you know I've been gearing up for Ironman Boise and made a real concerted effort, no matter how busy my life got, to stay on my training program.  But then I had a bad training day.  I just felt like I could not get through the water even if my life depended on it.  I came back to the store, frustrated, and started looking through YouTube videos trying to find some motivation.  I found Hillary Biscay.  I first heard of her when I learned of the Ultraman Race and then saw her a few times on IM Live.  Very positive!

The video I found was titled "Beginner Tips for Triathletes".  In it she talks about 4 race day tips newbies should keep in mind and I found myself not only appreciating the advice from an incredible athlete, but also relating these tips to life.  So, below are Hillary Biscay's tips and how I feel they fit into everyday life and business.

1. Remember why you are out there.  At some level you are there for enjoyment or fulfillment.  In an ongoing effort to create the life we want we should always choose activities that make us happy.  I recently read a quote that stated "Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals and charge after them in an unstoppable manner."  That works for me.  I'm driven by my goals and constantly re-assess my journey.  To me this first tip is about staying on track.  In triathlon and in life we can easily get derailed if we fail to remember what got us excited in the first place.  Find the little things in life that make you happy and make it a goal to pursue them.  What better way to stay on track than to do what makes you happy?
2. Fake it 'til you make it.  I relate this to two things actually.  The first is the idea that you create your mood, not the things around you.  The surest way to get out of the funk you find yourself in is to smile.  I start every day looking in the mirror and smiling at myself.  My theory is if I can't muster a smile for the person looking back in the mirror then how can I muster one to share with the world?  Even when I feel a bit down in the dumps a smile is wonderful medicine.  Inevitably it changes your mood.  The second thing I relate to this tip is the theory behind the law of attraction.  In order for you to attract what you most desire in life you must believe.  Believe you are a triathlete.  Believe you are successful in business.  Believe you already possess abundant happiness.  Rather than carrying around the burden of constantly wanting something else, you must believe you already enjoy it:  success, wealth, happiness, etc.  Fake it 'til you make it by believing.
3. Pick one discipline at a time.  This most easily relates to the idea of living in the moment.  Hillary talked about focusing on whatever event you're doing at the moment rather than stressing about the next.  In life this is the same as living in the now.  This moment right now is the only thing you have.  The past is over and can never be changed, and the future is unwritten.  But every step you take now helps to create the future you want.  So rather than stress about the run while you're on the bike, focus your attention on the current task.  Live this moment the best way you can right now and make sure every step is in line with your goal.  That is the most effective way to ensure success.  In fact, that is the ONLY way to ensure success...by consistently working towards it one step at a time.
4. The only reason to quit a race is because of a broken right femur.  This is a great illustration of the mantra NEVER QUIT.  Life is tough and having the wrong mindset can make it tougher.  Despite any failure or setback you face in life it is never too late to begin now to create the life you want.  My all-time favorite quote sums it up: "Success is, and always has been, defined as getting back up just one more time than you've fallen down."

I got back in the pool the next day, I swam and I felt better.  I shrugged off the bad workout, refocused on my goal and completed that day's training, and the next, and the next.  If ever you feel moments of weakness or despair about reaching your goal surround yourself with positive people.  In some cases they may be loved ones, coaches, friends or teachers.  In other cases they may simply be someone you know of sharing words of encouragement to others.  In either case a "thank you" is in order.

Today's Fuel

I believe in the Law of Attraction.  All of the teachings of The Secret, which are evidenced in the teachings of Napoleon Hill when he says "What the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve."  I get that.  Invest your thoughts wholly into believing _______ will come to you or happen for you.  It's not your job to worry about how it will happen, just believe it will...without a doubt.

And then I heard a speech by Jim Carrey in which he mentioned the philosophy that the only thing you have is now.  He went on to explain that we create anger, fear and unhappiness in our own minds by prophesying about the future.  Living in the now involves three concepts:

• The past will never change.  You cannot rewrite history and you cannot change your own past.  But that's OK because your past does not dictate your future.  The saying goes, "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending (Maria Robinson)."  Let it go.  Let go of the pain, failure and guilt.  
• The future is merely a figment of your imagination.  You cannot predict the future.  Think of the amount of time you've spent worrying about something in the future, or dreading a decision you thought you might have to make.  Think about the anxiety you've felt preparing for a confrontation with someone.  If he says this, I'll say that.  The only decision you need to make to prepare for your future is the one you're in right now!  Every moment that slips by lost in fear or dread is a lost moment to set the stage for happiness and success.  "Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment (Oprah Winfrey)."  Life is series of moments, so make the most of this one.
• Enjoy every moment.  That last quote sets the stage for the next and so on and so on.  This philosophy doesn't dictate that you relinquish control over your life by giving up on planning for the future.  Rather, it suggests that you live this moment in a manner that will allow you to live the next in the direction of your goals.  Visualize dropping a stepping stone directly in front of you with each step.  The best you can do is set the next stone in a path in line with your goals. 

This fits within the law of attraction nicely and the the key word is "believe".  It is your responsibility to live as if this concept your mind has conceived is already a reality.  That is your NOW.  The key is to live in the current moment, in reality, and simultaneously appreciate your blessings while visualizing and attracting what you want in your life.  Happiness begets happiness.  Joy for life begets joy for life.  Believe in yourself and believe it will be as joyful as you choose.  

Today's Fuel

I shared this quote the other day and I felt the need to break it down a bit further to really grasp what it is saying.  The quote is from Napoleon Hill, author of the bestselling book Think and Grow Rich, and it goes:


"Before success comes in any man's life, he's sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit. That's exactly what the majority of men do."


This quote speaks of a passage that everyone must endure on the path to success.  We've all felt defeat, some perhaps repeatedly, and I'm quite sure we've all felt some form of failure, too.  There are levels of failure.  Some are caused by the poor choices we make and others are caused by other factors, many of which are the result of not planning properly.  I choose to discuss the failures associated with poor choices.  I know that failure.

So, to amend the quote a bit, "When failure overtakes a man, the easiest thing to do is quit."  But what does it really mean to quit?  You can quit on life altogether; you can quit trying to reach your existing goals; or you can quit setting goals to reach.  It is one of the saddest things in life to see someone who has quit.  No matter what he has quit.

I resolve to never quit.  Life is too precious to quit.  My life is too precious to quit.  My goals are too important to me and the world to quit.  So, in looking back at Hill's quote, the key to avoid this is to avoid letting these failures overtake you.  Quitting is the path of least resistance for those who have been overtaken.  There is another saying that I repeat to myself time and again.  "I am bigger than anything that happens to me."  I cannot be overtaken by any event or failure, even if it is the result of my own poor choices, because I am bigger than any event.  My life is a journey and this failure is not my destination.

So, the point of this edition is this: no matter how difficult things may seem at the moment develop the mindset right now that you will never have a desire or a thought to quit.  It's that simple.  If you don't entertain the thought then it won't become an option.  If it isn't an option to quit you won't allow yourself to be overtaken.  There's no "out" but there is always a seed of opportunity within the failure.  Spend your time searching for that rather than looking for the moment you can quit.