"My past is everything I failed to be." ~ Fernando Pessoa
As I see it there are two main categories of failure (my common and unrelenting theme). Just to make sure we are starting from the same point, let's agree that failure is essentially understood as a
lack of success (Merriam-Webster dictionary). The most commonly considered failure is the good ol'
crash and burn. The type where you make that fatal mistake or misjudgment which leads to an undesired outcome. The outcome we hadn't expected or anticipated when we set off on this journey.
Whenever I read books or articles, or even watch videos, about overcoming failure I'm left with one question: what kind of failure do you mean? It almost seems as if the types of failure that Tony Robbins or Dale Carnegie build from involve a situation that, somewhat passively, just happened. The journey to our perceived success is a series of actions that we take, right? A series of foundation-building choices that we make.
Failure, in any sense of the word, is due to a miscalculation, misstep or poor choice that we made. The choice that preceded our action. If you don't see that then you're not looking back far enough to the root of the failure. Even when we make decisions contrary to public norms in our personal lives, which can and do lead to failure, if you look back far enough you'll find that your failure began before that choice. The failure manifested itself here, but you failed back there.
On our journey to succeed, which in some form of the word means to have more successes than failures in life, we form a plan making one choice after another and somewhere along the line we will inevitably fuck up. Period. We all do. Some produce a more brilliant fireball than others--it's called a
crash and burn for a reason--but the point is that we all make the wrong choice. The set of circumstances before us at any given moment coupled with our mindset and the weight of the world around us shapes our perception of the options before us. CEOs of major corporations and street level drug dealers all have reasons for their misjudgments that made some sense at the time, but in the end they will suffer a crash and then burn at a level relational to there status.
Whether your failure stems from a miscalculation or an egregious choice, once you've faced the backlash it is time to rebuild from this failure. It really makes no difference how you failed but it makes all the difference in the world how you recover. No matter what the failure, your obligation to the world is to continue to pursue your calling or destiny. You need to find and deliver your value to this world for your own sake. This is what will define you and your life, and ultimately show the world who you really are.
"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do." ~ C.G. Jung
But let's focus on one key point in the
crash and burn type of failure...you took action!! You overcame some fear that could have kept you in your comfort zone, but you chose to break out and take action. So, for that, I say
BRAVO!! You see, the other type of failure is a
failure to launch. I believe a failure to launch creates a foundation for regret far more than even the most outrageously poor decisions. When you take some action--igniting your soul onto a path of your dreams--you've made the most crucial choice possible: you acted. Your sole (i.e. your soul), which was once resting comfortably on a solid and easily predictable surface, had left its comfort zone.
Any misstep from that point is an opportunity to gain constructive feedback on your choice. Step, learn and build. Step, learn and build. Step, fall, learn and build. Step, learn and build. The only real failure here is if you fail to learn from the misstep. Yet, in a
failure to launch you truly deny yourself the opportunity to succeed.
"Your fear is 100% dependent on you for its survival." ~ Steve Maraboli
Some fear taking those first few steps because they fear the possibility of failure. Perhaps the fear is learned from past failures, or perhaps it's just a misinformed perception of failure. I assure you that every step you take towards your goal will contain in itself a seed of success. There are so many parables about a forest fire here. Sometimes it takes a
crash and burn to release the seed from its protective shell so that it can finally take root. As devastating as a forest fire is, often it's the purest way to regenerate new growth. This would never be an option for you if you fail to launch.
"You're depriving your soul, and your sole, unless you take that first step towards your greatness." ~ Jason Huntsinger
Life is all about choices. We all face opportunities and obstacles, crossroads and open highways. The beauty of choice, if we so choose to see it this way, is that a single book of matches can burn whatever is standing in the way. We can turn a single idea into a passion. We are the only ones who get to choose whether our book of matches is positive or negative. When I have nurtured an idea to the point that I wake in the morning and can't wait to get out of bed to begin working on it, it seems as thought nothing could stand in my way. My mind gets into a flow of overcoming obstacles and my momentum builds. My single book of matches is an idea sparked by motivation. Conversely, when I've struggled in life I've allowed poor choices to build with similar momentum.