Spinning the Plates

You know that guy in the circus who spins plates atop the skinny, pointed rods?  He sets out spinning just one, finds its balance point and spins it like crazy.  Then another and another.  But at several points he has to break this routine to return to the previously balanced plates; they are beginning to lose balance.  The process continues until several plates are spinning in unison.  It's really sort of crazy.

That's how I feel life is at times...when I let it.  I have competing forces at work in my mind.  One force has me sorting through the mounds and mounds of ideas I intend to see through, searching for the starting and balance points, while the other force is my life's time clock.  I am perishable and there are only so many of these ideas that I can see through to completion.  It is a constant battle, not of good versus evil, but of life versus death.  I want to treat life like a verb and experience everything I possibly can before my time expires.  It takes balance. 

"Balance is the homeostasis of the human spirit. On one side is the joy of actually living life, and the other is the fear you can't do enough in this short time." ~ Jason Huntsinger

So I run back and forth, spinning the plates trying to maintain their balance.  Here's the kicker in it all...I feel like that's all I'm really doing at times: standing in one place spinning plates.  I've written and posted about the value of action and it seems to be a recurring thought for me.  As each day passes I'm beginning to realize I need to reduce the number of plates I'm spinning so that I can spend less time running back and forth.

That really is the tough part because I find value in every idea that occupies my mind: writing my book, starting my magazine, exercising my body, building a loving relationship, turning my life to personal training, pursuing stable employment for benefits and retirement...they are all important in their own sense and work together to create this vision of my life from here forward.  If I focus on just one or two ideas, in an effort to minimize the clutter, I feel the ideas abandoned truly don't deserve that fate.  Nor do I.  

Balance can be the toughest, on-going life task to master.  Will any of us really master it?  Is our pursuit of this mastery just a pointless, upsetting practice we're placing on ourselves?  What if I don't get to do everything I ever wanted to do in this life?  Here is the fix: focus on what you can do in this life and put everything into it.  While it may not be quite as dramatic as a circus act analogy, it will be more productive in creating your own fulfilling lifestyle.  You see, by reducing our effort in any given task--by being too preoccupied in moving on to the next--we fail to really experience it.  Our focus is drawn away.  The "up" side of our spiritual homeostasis is cut short because we've closed off our receptors to living life in this moment. What we're left with is the counterbalancing "down" side wrought with worry that the day is passing, we're another year older and we've lost yet another opportunity to do it all.

Perhaps today I will let a couple of these plates slow to a stop then stack them nicely in the corner for the future.  Then I will go back and spin the holy hell out of the remaining plates!

Change: Adapting vs Igniting

"Change is constant in life and will manifest itself in one of two ways: your environment will change forcing you to adapt, or you will change forcing your environment to adapt. Whichever the case, seek the opportunity to grow." ~ Jason Huntsinger

Today's post is sparked by change that came my way recently. Uninvited, unexpected, unnecessary and unyielding...but it came anyway. My environment changed beyond my control which forced me to adapt. As I've mentioned before, I loathe passivity yet this is what my option is now. I tried and tried, perhaps to a fault, to fight this change with words, actions and emotions, but here I am adapting to a change I disagree with.

The fact of the matter is that change will always be part of our lives. It is likely one of the only constants in life. Change is everywhere and, as the quote states above, we really have two options here. One is as I am forced to do now: adapt. This is our response when the environment we live in changes around us. The company we work for closes or suffers layoffs, someone we love ends our relationship, or we suffer the consequences of a failure. Trying to adapt to change can be petrifying, devastating or just plain burdensome; nonetheless it comes and doesn't back off even when we react with one of these sensations.

The other version of change is much more proactive. It's the instigation of change. A challenge to the status quo of our lives. This type of change is what prompts us to finally take a stand and fight for ourselves, lose weight, stop smoking, change careers or even detach from the negative influences in our lives.  This is how we ignite a spark of change...ourselves. Passivity versus action. Adapting versus igniting. When we are the force of change we choose the environment that surrounds us.

Granted, we don't always have control of every situation in our lives. Some instances are give and take. Perhaps you've read my previous post on the state of calm. But to some extent we can employ our senses, intuition, experience and education to foresee and preempt the change coming our way.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." ~ Leo Tolstoy

I am going to be a little bold here and say that those of us who don't think change is as prevalent as I claim are merely experts at adapting to it, and fail to see the opportunities to ignite their own change. Taking the examples above--layoffs, relationships, failure--think back and see how taking a proactive approach to life could have prevented a passive adaptation. Now try to understand how playing catch-up to the changing environment is stripping you of the opportunities to plan the route to your own goals, and accomplish everything you intend to in this life.

"You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly." ~ Colin Wright

The State of Being Calm

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

How many times have you seen this shortened version of the Serenity Prayer and just breezed right over it?  Many, many times for me.  I see it often in the Quote of the Day blogs and postings I read.  And, to be honest, I like it.  Recently I took a little extra time to think about it though.  I like to completely understand the use of words in certain quotes and this was one of them.  Serenity: the state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled.  This is a plea for more than serenity and courage.  It is really a plea for wisdom.

Starting at the beginning, there is a great deal of peace in the idea of the first line.  All too often I think we struggle with this concept.  It can be difficult to sit back and admit we cannot change something.  Effort becomes meaningless.  To think that if we try our damnedest to change a situation and it still might not change can leave us feeling less than serene.

I much prefer the second line.  Action.  Courage.  Grant me the courage to challenge the status quo and shake things up.  Grant me the courage to put the brakes on this life and start fresh.  I prefer action over passivity and accepting things "as is."

What about that third line?  Isn't that really the hardest part of the entire equation?  It seems those of us who prefer action may have the hardest time deciding at the fork in the road.  Our impulse is to seek action and make the change. Whereas, those who prefer to accept what comes their way may disproportionately choose to just accept life.

"Change is constant in life and will manifest itself in one of two ways: your environment will change forcing you to adapt, or you will change forcing your environment to adapt. Whichever the case, seek the opportunity to grow." ~ Jason Huntsinger

Where is that balance?  How do you know when you reach that point?  I struggle to find it because I'd much rather prefer to direct change than adapt to something beyond my control.  It is tough to concede that I can't control an aspect of my life.  But, alas *heavy sigh* it's true.  Understanding this about myself, and life in general, is perhaps the first step in attaining this wisdom which will allow me to find peace.  The fact of the matter is that change is a given.  Everything changes.  Situations change.  People change...sometimes overnight.  We are all on this journey to find the balance and, ultimately, our own state of being calm.

Partnerships

"A true partnership is not a 50/50 proposition.  It's a work of art; a balance of ebb and flow between two people whether in love or in business.  But, that's the beauty of the partnership and it cannot succeed without give and take on both sides." ~ Jason Huntsinger

Partnerships are a tricky science.  They're tricky in the sense that there is a constant flow of balance; the balance of ebb and flow.  When working properly there is a shift, back and forth, in such a subtle way that you really don't notice it.  Your partner might feel stressed because of a project and you sense this, so you pick up some of the slack to alleviate any added stress.  Likewise, your partner might reciprocate when she senses the need.  Sounds like a relationship, doesn't it?

What makes a partnership different from a relationship is that it is not merely reactive.  A solid partnership is a collaboration of two people inspiring each other to reach their true potential, supporting them as they push the boundaries and actively seeking ways to add value to the partnership.  These two are not merely co-workers or friends; they understand the thoughts and intentions of one another, believe in each other and work to anticipate their partner's needs.

What becomes really amazing about a partnership is that this proactive anticipation has a tendency to create a need for one another.  That type of unexpected dependency can be scary for some.  Strong-willed and intelligent people see this as a detraction from their individualistic drive.  On the contrary, that view takes a pessimistic interpretation of the ebb and flow balance of the world.  Rather than focusing on what appears to be a loss of individuality, one ought to focus on the added value.  One does not take away from the other as much as one adds to the other.  Conversely, a true partner, in every sense of the word, is dedicated to building up his partner, as excited to see her succeed as he is to see himself succeed; as much as individuals as partners.

"You are one foot and I the other.  We are each capable of moving forward on our own, but the effects of a unisonous effort are exponential.  Stride with me through this life and together we become more, appreciate more and discover more to love." ~ Jason Huntsinger

Networking Outside the Network

How many of us believe we are masters at networking in the workplace, but disappear into the shadows when we're off stage and change out of our work clothes?  Admittedly, I am...at least I admit to the latter part of that.  As I've posted before, networking is all about relationships.  Business or not, it is about interpersonal relationships.  It's about getting to know someone and talking to them in terms they appreciate and find interest in.

"The difference between appreciation and flattery?  That is simple.  One is sincere and the other is insincere.  One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out.  One is unselfish; the other selfish.  One is universally admired; the other universally condemned." ~ Dale Carnegie

The principles of networking work outside the network, and it starts with a sincere and genuine interest in someone.  Let me tell you about a friend I met who exudes this idea.  His name is Ironman Dave.  That's how I will always know him anyway.  We met through a social media app and found a common interest in triathlon.  I soon learned IM Dave had an apparent zest for life.  His trademark smile and "rock on" pose adorned several pictures on this social media app.  From several hundred miles away his energy shone through.

I was fortunate enough to meet Dave in person in Arizona during Ironman Arizona.  His smile made the trip with him.  He had organized a breakfast meet-and-greet for several people on this social media app.  When Dave talks to you he looks at you, asks questions and acknowledges your responses.  Dave knows how to network.

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." ~ Dale Carnegie

A few instances since have demonstrated the type of man Dave is.  Posts of encouragement from the bedside of a friend in the hospital, messages leading up to and during my first half-Ironman race, and simply wearing a shirt I gave him while heading to Europe.

Why is this important?  Because this is true networking.  Dave is a superior athlete to me, has completed more races and is a more successful businessman.  But, this is about developing and advancing an interpersonal relationship, not connecting with someone for what they can provide you.  You simply cannot network in or out of the network if your intentions are disingenuous.

I guarantee that if you practice networking in real life with real friends, the workplace show will only come that much easier and genuine.  

Grow Like a Tree

This morning I came across a quote by Jim Rohn and instantly enjoyed a particular part.  He wrote:

"Every life form seems to strive to its maximum except human beings.  How tall will a tree grow?  As tall as it possibly can.  Human beings, on the other hand, have been given the dignity of choice.  You can choose to be all or you can choose to be less.  Why not stretch up to the full measure of the challenge and see what all you can do?" ~ Jim Rohn

The idea within the quote that I absolutely love is how tall a tree will grow: As tall as it can!  More specifically, I love how a tree grows.  I love how trees dig their roots into the earth to create a stable footing, and then reach for the sky.  As a tree grows so does its root system.  It is absolutely amazing to me to see a tree reach through the canopy to capture the sunlight.  Or, to see a tree that has altered its growth, moving around an object, to reach higher.

The object of our reach is relative, but the lessons learned from a tree show that we can move towards and still reach a goal, yet alter our path.  Have you ever really stopped to notice the strength and nobility in a single tree?  It's inspiring.  Hermann Hesse wrote this about trees:

"In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing: to fulfill themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves." ~ Hermann Hesse

I remember first coming across this writing.  I admire the imagery and simple idea here.  A tree embeds its roots into the earth to grow and reach and withstand the turmoil that exists above.  As the tree grows, reaching higher into the world, the base grows to provide more footing.  That base is either wide or deep, depending on the tree, and offers stability.  Stability and strength are two different things.  Yet we often live life like standing on the edge of the beach with our feet shallowly buried in the sand.  When the water recedes back into the ocean, washing away the sand around our feet, we clinch our toes in an effort to overcome the force.  Our base is inadequate.

Living life like a tree, we are able to work around obstacles on our way to reach the sunlight through

the canopy only after we establish our base and set our roots: integrity, confidence, humility, courage, self-worth.  These are just a few of the traits necessary and essential to grow like a tree.  The roots must grow along with our trunk.  Stability and strength.  Life can be tiring, frustrating and hurtful.  We can try and try, yet fail.  Once we begin to see this as part of setting our roots, it begins to make sense.  And, we can push even higher towards that sunlight as our base grows, too.

When you look at a tree what do you notice first?  Likely, you notice the height and strength and solidness.  The tree hides the signs of tough years and lean growth in its rings.  It builds another ring around these hardships to become stronger, the roots reach farther and the tree grows that much closer to its sunlight.

"Like a tree I have endured years of drought and harsh storms, each challenging me; yet here I stand, solitary and proud, looking up to the sky where the sunlight brings a new day.  Life is lived here, in the treetops." ~ Jason Huntsinger    

 

Getting What You Want

I'm always inspired by this concept: You can do anything if you put your mind to it.  While I understand the motivational intent of the concept, I also believe at some point, if things just don't line up properly, we should move on.  It's not quitting; it's just not beating our heads against the wall anymore.

In this world we are not alone.  Like it or not, other people and their experiences must be factored into our decisions, and they must also be considered when deciding what goals to pursue.  From our baseline energy or enthusiasm in pursing something we want, some other invested party -- a stakeholder -- can either imbue our energy or dilute it.  I agree, wholeheartedly, that our attitude should not be altered by the external forces of the world, but the reality is that our pursuits are.

Having said that, here is the solution.

"When you can't change the direction of the wind - adjust your sails." ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Suppose you seek promotion in the company you currently work for and you are actively pursuing, and accomplishing, the prerequisite job requirements.  For example, you complete your bachelor degree, acquire your PMP certification, gain experience by leading a project team and follow the company policies to the letter in order to receive outstanding performance evaluations.  First of all, great job!  You should be proud.  But say the company doesn't give you the promotion.  You've tried a few times but to no avail.  What's the answer...quit trying and fall into whatever role they want you to be in?  No.

The same is true in interpersonal relationships.  You might do everything you can imagine to form a bond with someone to share the lifetime of love we all desire.  That special someone who knows everything about you -- all your flaws, failures, disappointments, loves and quirks -- and still sees you with complete acceptance, but you just can't "promote" to the next level.  What's the answer...quit trying and remain in a relationship that is less than incredible?  No.

The answer is -- if this is something you truly desire -- adjust your sails to reach it.  This will require change, but change can be good.  Don't focus on what you're losing, that only creates excuses to remain.  Instead, focus on new opportunities to meet your goals.  Find a new job in which you can promote.  Say goodbye to the limiting forces in your life.  Find someone new who can invest as much into you as you do to them.  It's scary and it hurts, but you deserve it.  Acceptance is an essential feeling to experience.  It leads to appreciation which, as mentioned above, imbues the energy and enthusiasm inside us all.

Be brave and get what you want.  You are worth it.