Look Ahead: Glance Behind

"Study the past if you would define the future." ~ Confucious

I've endured much in the way of change these last several years.  The lion's share has come from my own choices, both good and bad...but not all of it.  My life has literally been upended and thrown in a new direction, a couple times actually.  I've survived.  

In my own experiences I've tended to welcome change, even precipitate it, but sometimes I find myself checking my current status by looking back and comparing to what I once was or once had.  I have less in the way of stuff than I did ten years ago but I'm in a better state of mind than ever before.  So, being an optimist at heart I try to refocus my thoughts towards the type of forward-moving enthusiasm that precedes change like a red carpet precedes the famous.

Why do I try to compare?  Now to then.  This to that.  Mostly because I am dissatisfied with some of my past choices.  Don't get me wrong, I'm also very happy with many choices and proud of my accomplishments, but it's those poor choices that sting.  I agree that there is little value in painting the past with regret.  That is such an invaluable emotion, really: regret.  Perhaps looking back is not so much regret as it is an analysis.  Maybe it's actually the manner in which I look back on the past that creates a reflective burden of regret and deprives me of making peace with it.  I cannot change the past, I get that, but in analyzing the past I have some say in preventing it from repeating itself.  

"There's a reason the car's windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror."

I've enjoyed this quote periodically but I have always read it with the focus on the windshield as a massive portal to view what's ahead.  I've ignored the rearview mirror reference altogether.  Consider this, there is in fact a rearview mirror.  There is in fact a need to check the past.  There is in fact a sense of reassurance in taking a periodic glance behind you.  In some cases, there is in fact true value in watching the past become the past.  We can never change our memories and may always use the past as a reference point.  That's perfectly acceptable.  What's important is where you go from here.

This driving analogy is useful.  We use our mirrors frequently to make sure changes in direction are safe.  We don't drive forward by fixing our gaze solely on the images we see leaving us in the rearview mirror.  Our primary focus is through the front windshield: even if it's cracked and pitted from miles of rough roads.  It's our portal to what's ahead.  Nonetheless, we glance back and assess, but then look forward again.  Key word here: assess.

"You don't know where you're going if you don't know where you've been."

We learn from our past by assessing our choices and results.  Hindsight is 20/20 because we have both the factors for the decision and the consequences of the choice.  In order to reach the opportunities ahead--the ones visible through that big beautiful windshield--we constantly assess and reassess the journey to where we want to be.  

So, what now?  My answer is unwritten.  But, I can say one thing with absolute certainty: I will continue to move forward, embrace change and check my rearview to ensure the change is positive.

"Because my life isn't going to wait around while I figure out how to make it work." ~ Susane Colasanti   

Fear is the first enemy...

"Fear is the first enemy of love."

I posted a blog in December 2012 that began just this way. I remember the first time I read a variation of this quote and kind of getting offended by it. For some reason I just couldn't wrap my mind around the concept. Here I am over a year later and that phrase popped back into my head. Fear really is the first enemy of love...as well as a plethora of life's other great experiences.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." ~ George Bernard Shaw 

At some point in our lives--perhaps even several points--we find a need to stop and reassess. Are we just plugging through our days going with the flow of the masses? Worse yet, are we directionless trying to find the meaning of it all?  Or are we truly creating the live that we want. Because it's not just about creating the life we want, it's about creating the person we want to be. It's defining ME.

Our dreams, desires, designs and decisions work in concert to create who we are. At any step in the process it may just stop from fear. What is it that you dream about daily and desire with every breath? Name just one desire that you have not designed into your life and made decisions to achieve. Is fear the reason for a break in the process? Fear of taking a chance? Of failure? Of getting hurt? Of being told no?

When we begin to turn our desires into designs for creating ourselves often fear is the preeminent detracting element. It requires us to do something different and that's scary. It shakes up the status quo of our existence. It shakes up what we think we already know to be true. Fear is the first enemy. It's the enemy of love, adventure, success, triumph, goals and ultimately creating ourselves.

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" ~ Robert H. Schuller

Fear is our conscience trying to keep us in check. It helps to prevent pain, suffering and disappointment. It's much easier to maintain the status quo, right? Think back to the top of this blog and remember why we're even in this process. We are in the throws of creating ourselves. The canvas is blank and we're afraid of the color choice.

Fear is indeed the first enemy of any amazing emotion we can experience in this life. If it were easy it would not likely be worth the effort. But despite all the fear and doubt, I believe it is absolutely worth every moment of effort to create yourself. It's worth it to experience true love, outrageous adventure, remarkable success, personal triumph and the highest goals. If you don't do this for yourself then who will?

"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." ~ Andre Gide