Look Ahead: Glance Behind

"Study the past if you would define the future." ~ Confucious

I've endured much in the way of change these last several years.  The lion's share has come from my own choices, both good and bad...but not all of it.  My life has literally been upended and thrown in a new direction, a couple times actually.  I've survived.  

In my own experiences I've tended to welcome change, even precipitate it, but sometimes I find myself checking my current status by looking back and comparing to what I once was or once had.  I have less in the way of stuff than I did ten years ago but I'm in a better state of mind than ever before.  So, being an optimist at heart I try to refocus my thoughts towards the type of forward-moving enthusiasm that precedes change like a red carpet precedes the famous.

Why do I try to compare?  Now to then.  This to that.  Mostly because I am dissatisfied with some of my past choices.  Don't get me wrong, I'm also very happy with many choices and proud of my accomplishments, but it's those poor choices that sting.  I agree that there is little value in painting the past with regret.  That is such an invaluable emotion, really: regret.  Perhaps looking back is not so much regret as it is an analysis.  Maybe it's actually the manner in which I look back on the past that creates a reflective burden of regret and deprives me of making peace with it.  I cannot change the past, I get that, but in analyzing the past I have some say in preventing it from repeating itself.  

"There's a reason the car's windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror."

I've enjoyed this quote periodically but I have always read it with the focus on the windshield as a massive portal to view what's ahead.  I've ignored the rearview mirror reference altogether.  Consider this, there is in fact a rearview mirror.  There is in fact a need to check the past.  There is in fact a sense of reassurance in taking a periodic glance behind you.  In some cases, there is in fact true value in watching the past become the past.  We can never change our memories and may always use the past as a reference point.  That's perfectly acceptable.  What's important is where you go from here.

This driving analogy is useful.  We use our mirrors frequently to make sure changes in direction are safe.  We don't drive forward by fixing our gaze solely on the images we see leaving us in the rearview mirror.  Our primary focus is through the front windshield: even if it's cracked and pitted from miles of rough roads.  It's our portal to what's ahead.  Nonetheless, we glance back and assess, but then look forward again.  Key word here: assess.

"You don't know where you're going if you don't know where you've been."

We learn from our past by assessing our choices and results.  Hindsight is 20/20 because we have both the factors for the decision and the consequences of the choice.  In order to reach the opportunities ahead--the ones visible through that big beautiful windshield--we constantly assess and reassess the journey to where we want to be.  

So, what now?  My answer is unwritten.  But, I can say one thing with absolute certainty: I will continue to move forward, embrace change and check my rearview to ensure the change is positive.

"Because my life isn't going to wait around while I figure out how to make it work." ~ Susane Colasanti