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I recently viewed this short YouTube video of Mel Robbins speaking to a group in which she talked about "getting out of the weeds." It's a great spin on the concept of "life getting in the way." And it got me thinking...what the hell does that really mean? Are we really just passive participants in our own lives? I know that I've said that phrase more than I care to admit because it's an easy way to say "I've given up on __________ (fill in the blank)." It's not life that got in my way though, it was me. We get in our own way of reaching our goals. We are, at times, our own worst deterrent to success and happiness.
Why do we do this to ourselves? It's because we choose to avoid change in favor of predictability. We fall into routines with work, life and relationships because it's easier, less risky and requires less thought. But I don't believe that is human nature! Our nature is to grow, live, discover and explore. Look at this commercial for Red Bull...
These are extreme examples of human performance and initiative, but what about any of the great explorers, entrepreneurs, athletes, inventors or innovators? At some point they all made a choice to deviate from the routine and do something unpredictable. In most cases, outsiders looked on with skepticism and doubt. Ever hear of the Wright Brothers? My favorite line from that Red Bull commercial is this -- "The only limit is the one you set yourself." How true is that? The limitation many of us face is actually right between our own ears. Habits, routines and predictability are safe but whose life is this to live? A series of extraordinary events had to take place in a very specific order for us to enter this life. When you think about it in those terms, it raises the question "what am I going to do with this life and how do I start?"
"I can't believe God put us on this earth to be ordinary." ~ Lou Holtz
An article on Forbes.com titled How to Get Out of Your Own Way addresses just that. "And like anything, if you do something over and over it becomes a habit. Your view of the world becomes conditioned." It's scary to think about changing our lives. Just as the article suggests, perhaps the answer is to take it in small increments and then evaluate. No one says it's an all-or-nothing proposition, but something is always better than nothing!
If we go back to Mel Robbins' talk about getting out of the weeds and start looking at our daily lives we will soon realize our weeds may have started growing with these routines and habits, but it's sometimes more than just predictability that holds us where we are. We now have commitments and other responsibilities that prevent us from getting where or what we want. Ah ha...that's life getting in the way! Hooey! We control all of this whether we believe it or not.
In his book, The Power of Less, Leo Babauta provides a straightforward approach to reducing the non-essential in our lives which frees up time, resources and focus to pursue our dreams. He lists eight questions we must ask ourselves to find out what is essential to us.
- What are your values?
- What are your goals?
- What do you love?
- What is important to you?
- What has the biggest impact in your life?
- What has the most long-term impact?
- What are your needs versus wants?
- What non-essentials can you immediately eliminate?
The point behind all of this is that life never gets in the way. That's a cop-out. Yes, it is scary to break out of the box we've trapped ourselves in to chase our dreams. People may doubt you. You may doubt yourself. You may even fail. But amazingly, failure is not permanent and you ultimately have complete control over making this decision. Happiness and success are matters of choice and perception.
"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." ~ Bill Cosby
Does the fire inside you burn hot enough to make you take a chance? If the answer is yes, then start right this very second by dropping the phrase "Life is getting in the way" from your vocabulary. It has no place in our heads and we are not passengers in our lives. Take accountability. Follow Babauta's process to identify what is essential in your life and drop the rest. Take control. Create a list of the steps you need to take to meet your goals and do it.
It's true, we do get in our own way sometimes. But what makes life so amazing is that just as easily as we can stop our own progress, we can also get behind our own ideas and become the strongest advocate. Get out of your weeds, live the life you have imagined and choose the route to happiness and success. Life is not in the way...life is the opportunity!
