Failure is Subjective

There is significant power in putting the past behind you, and focusing on this moment.  The past is over and can never be changed, the future is unknown and the only thing we have is this moment.  As reminders, there are countless quotes, blogs, videos and books about the value of failure, and using failure as a learning tool.

"Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try nothing and succeed." ~ Lloyde Jones

I get that.  I understand that failure is a sign of action, and action trumps everything.  In fact, I find inspiration in the stories of the great and influential people who had once failed to some degree.  Take this video for example...

Here's what I see.  All of the examples in this video involve some one's judgment of another which led to a perceived "failure."  They didn't reach their goal.  Someone told them they were worthless.  Stupid.  Not good enough.  A failure.  At times we perceive a failure when someone or something gets in our way.  But, what about the other kind of failure?  The kind we bring on ourselves?  Is there a difference between a good failure and a bad one?  Failure is a subjective term, and completely relative to the person feeling this sensation.  What I've learned is a failure is only bad if you fail to learn from it.

There are certainly different levels of failure, don't get me wrong.  Some failures result in other people getting hurt.  Those around us who love us.  This is more of a breach of trust.  But true personal failure, it seems, is subjective.  We all have different ideas of what we consider failure to be.  Success means different things to different people, too.  Life is a continuous learning process, which may never be truly perfected.  And, in order to recover from a failure we must have a desire to learn from it and move on.  This requires us to take responsibility for the actions and choices leading to the failure, and resolving to never give up.  It's been reported that Thomas Edison experimented with more than 1,500 elements while improving the electric light bulb.  He never gave up.  Treat life as he did the light bulb.

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to try just one more time." ~ Thomas Edison   

When we categorize aspects of our lives as failures we apply a stigma to ourselves which drains our motivation.  In John C. Maxwell's book, Failing Forward, he addresses the misconception that if we fail then we must be a failure.  That is absurd!  Life is process, not a single moment, and a single act will not define our life's work.  Failure is but a moment in time that for some reason we attach so much weight and shame to.

In order to move beyond this self-imposed stigma, this one moment in time we repeatedly wear like a weighted vest, we've got to remain motivated.  Motivated to grow, learn and succeed.  Motivation is an internal driving force.  Don't you see that in order for us to overcome this stigma that we place on ourselves, we need to generate the motivation to overcome it.  It is completely within our control, and it places the power of redemption within us.  My motivation is my belief that I am better than any of my failures.  The source behind our motivation is a desire to do better.  Do you have that desire?  The desire to break free of the failure?

What if we just stopped calling all of the mistakes, poor choices and disappointments in our lives failures?  What if we called them lessons?  What if, rather than feeling shame for not succeeding, we critically examine the situation and our choices, readily claim responsibility and take the next step to use the situation as a stepping stone?  We could bypass the notion that we failed in the first place and simply view this as an opportunity to learn.  That is powerful.  

I'll finish here with a short video.  The animated movie Meet the Robinsons shares a wonderful message in response to failure--Keep Moving Forward!  There are so many moments in our lives that we could celebrate for the learning opportunity, rather than become paralyzed with shame.  Failure is subjective.  It's just a title we place on ourselves when we don't succeed.  But, the really amazing thing about subjectivity is that we can simply change our perception.