Another Classic Battle

Looking back through history there have been several classic battles: David and Goliath, Hatfields and McCoys, good and evil.  Another has been waging in me for a while, too.  It's the battle of dreams and responsibilities.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I've reached a point in my life, in both age and satisfaction, in which I feel the need to hit the reset button and create the life I want.  But in the course of 42 years I've accumulated some responsibilities.  Responsibilities are the results of previous decisions.  I've struggled the last few years thinking about this battle, allowing each side to wage a war inside my head, catapulting reasons, justifications and excuses back and forth.  It's been exhausting.

As I mentioned previously in my evolution of change, this process involved much deliberation and rumination, and still I find myself questioning my decision.  I believe this stems from the feeling I'm shrugging off some of my responsibilities.  In every decision there are corollary ramifications and I'm not sure any decision can be made without there being some negative effects.  That's the whole point of a decision, right?  It's a choice between two or more options, each with their own gains and losses.  I know this seems obvious, but in my thought process I need to break it down.

"Don't you find it odd that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try." ~ Ethan Hawke

Decisions like this come down to placing some value on the future, although this seems to require the ability to be a fortune teller.  For me, one decision satisfies the moment but the future is potentially bleak, whereas the other decision has a clearly visible and beneficial future.  Nonetheless, responsibilities.  That word pounds in my head with each syllable like a bowling ball falling onto concrete.  Then I realized something: when I felt stuck and failed to look at the big picture I turned the idea of responsibilities into limitations.  Responsibilities are not barriers nor limitations nor consequences.  Responsibilities are the fruit of our past.  Viewing them as limitations is akin to regretting a moment from your past and there is no value in that.

"The only limit is the one you set yourself."

It has taken me some time to see the truth in this.  I believe where there is a will there is a way.  When I looked at the responsibilities in my life as reasons I could not pursue an opportunity I gave up.  They became limitations because I stopped searching for a resolution.  But, there is always a resolution to some degree.  Perhaps not the first one our mind paints for us, but there are always resolutions to a dilemma.

The first step in finding this resolution is to make peace with the responsibilities--again, the fruit of our past decisions.  Embrace them.  At one point in the past we engaged in a similar decision-making process and this seemed like the best option, so embrace it.  Now, let's stop looking at this as an all-or-nothing situation and open our minds to options and possibilities.

"Every time you discuss the future, grammatically you're forced to cleave that from the present and treat it as if it's something viscerally different." ~ Keith Chen

Our mind can be our greatest ally, or our greatest enemy.  This battle of dreams and responsibilities is all in my head and it's as big a war as I make it out to be.  Yes, the only limit is the one you set yourself.  And, likewise, the only resolution is the one you create yourself.